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Showing posts from June, 2011

Sporting Crap: Athletic Napping

Spiking The Pillow I don’t often praise the lobotomized jackals that run our television networks, but they do deserve credit for one great service.They really know how to facilitate a nap.This is especially evident when it comes to televised sports, many of which seem to exist merely to put the audience to sleep.How can insomnia hope to triumph when faced with the following forms of athletic Ambien?
Golf
Next to competitive accounting and synchronized typing, golf is the most boring spectator sport in existence.It seems odd that an activity invented by men for the sole purpose of escaping from their wives for an entire day should become a televised event, but here it is.There is little about golf that isn’t conducive to swift sleep.The limp ping of the ball as it’s struck.The funereal silence of the crowd.The gentle whisper of the announcer.I’ve been hopped up on an afternoon of speed and fear, only to find Morphean solace by the second hole.  This isn't a sport for the living.

NASCAR